Too Posh to Push?


If you’ve noticed the absence of posts recently it’s not because I’ve been overdosing on the Christmas pudding (more like resembling one) but rather I have been mainly birthing. Yes…this Christmas period has seen a new addition to my little family and it has, yet again, thrown life into a spin to say the least!

Childbirth…something that most women expect to go through and ‘experience’ at some point in their lives. And although expected, I,  like most women was slightly, shall we say ‘taken by surprise’ when I ‘experienced’ it for the first time.

Why you may ask? Didn’t she go to ante-natal classes? Speak to her mum? Talk to a midwife? Read a book on the subject? Well yes dear reader, I did all of these things, however, it is one thing to talk or read about something and quite another to go through it.

For a start, all of the books you read speak about things in a matter of fact way, as if the whole process is a breeze. There are chapters on ‘how to manage your pain’ for example. What? Really? You can manage it? Brilliant…nooooo problemo then. I’ll just read this chapter and everything will be fine. In reality however, I can’t even manage the pain of a paper cut , so I don’t know how I ever thought I’d manage labour!!!

What’s missing from the books of course, is a detailed, intricate account of the pain. A real insight into it: the sensation; the depth; the overwhelming fear involved as the pain intensifies. And of course, when you find yourself in the midst of it, whilst telling yourself to be brave, you can’t really escape the feeling that this may be curtains for you!

Manage it…pah! Give me some drugs and that’ll manage it a hell of a lot better thanks very much!

So why am I talking of the pain? Well, surely that potential pain and the avoidance of it has a lot of women nowadays veering towards the option of a Caesarean Section? The operation of choice. The swift and easy way to avoid the drawn out, embarrassing and exhausting ‘labour’. The way that celebrities do it ! Well if it’s good enough for Victoria Beckham, surely it’s good enough for me?

If this is something you’ve been mulling over and its affecting your birth choice let me just set you straight. Believe me…you’d rather push!!

Why? Well for starters it isn’t the ‘easy option’ at all, quite the opposite in fact. Of course it has certain advantages, such as you know the exact date your baby is coming and you can plan around the date. And……..that’s about it for advantages. Honestly.

If you’re thinking of avoiding the pain of labour by having a C-Section, let me just tell you that there is NO AVOIDING THE PAIN!!! EVER! The pain is just located in a different area of your body. Get used to it – popping out a sprog hurts and you can’t really dodge it by opting for major abdominal surgery! What you really want to do is have an Epidural – Wow! Brilliant!! As soon as you have one of those everything seems better!! Epidural and push! Forget the C-Section – trust me!

So why do the stars seem to opt for the C-Section? I’ve no idea! Work schedules seems an obvious idea but then the recovery time from the operation is a minimum of six weeks! Six weeks without driving, walking, sitting upright unaided even initially going to the toilet without help (nice)!

What I do know is that through the choices of the ‘stars’, the current ‘too posh to push’ trend has allowed random people to make judgements about how your baby enters the world.

Annoying Man: Your baby came out of the sunroof didn’t it?

Even More Annoying Man: You were too lazy to have your baby properly weren’t you?

Exceptionally Annoying Man that I want to punch: Well you didn’t really give birth though did you?

Aaaargh!! Your hormones are raging, you’ve had no sleep since….who knows and people like to impart their point of view upon you. Well thanks but…keep it to yourself!

Even worse than this is if you ended up with an Emergency C-Section after labouring for hours!! This happened to me the first time and after a 43 hour labour I had to have a C-Section!. A 43 hour labour!!! Are you joking! I still can’t believe that happened. It’s worse than a Medieval torture session in The Tower of London (well maybe not but there’s nothing like a touch of the dramatic to make me feel better)! And yet people will still assume that you ‘took the easy option’.

It is currently week 3 of my recovery and it’s safe to say that although I can now go to the toilet by myself (phew!) I still have a way to go to resume ‘normal life’. That’s ok though, as I have a husband on Paternity leave to help me out…….Darling, is the kettle on?

2 thoughts on “Too Posh to Push?

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