Tricky Sicky!

 Did we say nine? Sorry, we meant ten; dreary months that is!

So…welcome to pregnancy! Yippee! 

Nine months stretch ahead of you in glorious technicolour as you plan and pontificate about your new family life. The first thing to think about however, is the fact that everyone has actually lied; pregnancy isn’t nine months after all, it’s ten! What??!!

No problemo, you think; I’m going to enjoy this, I’m going to marvel in the wonderful feeling of creation. Yep. Been there, felt that.

The only thing is, that that warm and fuzzy glow is often replaced by a more maudlin and oftentimes wretched feeling of nausea and self-pity, known quite quirkily as ‘morning sickness’. This particular cheeky chappie doesn’t necessarily strike in the morning and doesn’t necessarily make you actually vomit, believe it or not. Oh no, it can just hang out with you all day and pop out to play at random intervals to keep you on your toes. Or threaten menacingly that you will, after all, lose your lunch; only to retract the offer at a moment’s notice. 

Such is the fickle nature of the jaunty ‘sickness’, that when you think you’ve found the solution to your problem (mini packets of dried fruit stashed in every bag you own …just in case) it decides to change tactics and the remedies from before no longer work! 

The other thing to remember about feeling ill all the time is that other people DON’T CARE! Maybe once or twice, you’ll find yourself awash with a pleasant ‘Oooh’, ‘Aaah’ or ‘Poor you’. Don’t be hoodwinked by this! Don’t allow yourself to believe that after a couple of weeks people will actually care how many times you’ve felt sick or thrown up today. Neither will they care that you’re off your favourite foods, or that smells they inflict upon you (perfume, tobacco, B.O?) ‘make you feel sick’. No one is remotely bothered as, unfortunately for you, the novelty has worn off! 

Don’t be disheartened by this though; remember the warm fuzzy feeling about creating a new life and bask in it’s glow again. It’s fine. A bit of nausea never did anyone any harm. we’re women; we can cope with this surely?

2 thoughts on “Tricky Sicky!

  1. Sooooooo true!! The only way forward is an inch-thick layer of make-up and salt and vinegar crisps; at least one does not APPEAR nauseous and RUIN everyone else’s day!
    Very apt and amusing Mother-Mayhem, this made me laugh :-))

  2. I’d done quite well during my second trimester, having banished the afternoon sickness from my first foul seventeen weeks that made me 1) go home knackered at about 3pm, 2) vomit, then 3) crawl into bed, fall into fitful nap for an hour and 4) get up and order the husband to order pizza. Again. Standing in front of my Media A Level class one day, however, which consisted of about nine strapping rugby-playing boys and one girl, who fitted in suspiciously well with the beefcakes, I was doing my usual arm-waving version of teaching when I started to feel a strange wave of… something… coming at me. Bewildered at this feeling after weeks of just being a bit tired and enjoying eating all kinds of rubbish on the basis that I was now not fat but pregnant, I retreated to my desk. I took a deep breath, carried on, then was whacked with a wave of nausea that caused me to jump up and run to the bathroom, mid-second trimester, to be met by my breakfast in the big white telephone. Yum.

    On return to class, my lovely rugby boys looked all concerned, and my one girl had turned a little green. For their part, one of them said, they’d never seen me so white, nor ‘imagined you could leg it quite so fast miss.’ The same boy who was impressed with my near-Olympian sprint, proceeded to rummage around in his lunchbox, and brought me an Oreo, which I gratefully stuffed in my mouth, recovering from the grim embarrassment and feeling slightly tearful about the concerned faces surrounding me. ‘Be nice to your mums,’ I remember telling them. Six months into life, my little bean had me thinking I had things sussed but NO! Yet another surprise, the run of which I’m sure will never stop…

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